KILKENNY GOLF CLUB NOTES
Tuesday, 16 February, 2021

(Leinster’s Hidden Gem 2019)
Follows us on Twitter:- Kilkennygolfclub@club_kilkenny
Website:- www.kilkennygolfclub.com

General Notes
2021 Club Diary.
The Club Diary for 2021 is now available in the ClubV1 Members hub.
For the first time the club has a real time diary that will reflect the ongoing changes on a week by week and day by day basis, keeping members up to date on fixtures and any fixture adjustments. The Club V1 members hub is accessible on the club website and can be downloaded onto your phone via the ClubV1 app.
If you are having issues in downloading please contact the office.

ClubV1
Many members have downloaded the Club V1 app and are now reaping the benefits of this ‘one stop shop’ to get all details relating to Club activities.
Heretofore you had to have downloaded two/three apps to access BRS, HowDidiDo etc., but with Club V1 you have all you need in one App.
If you haven’t done so yet, please download the Club V1 app now.

Subscriptions.
Once again, a reminder that your Annual membership is due for renewal and can be done by any of the different methods outlined in previous weekly notes.
If you wish to avail of the Aon personal insurance please add €27 to your membership payment.

Premium/Fairway Credit Facility.
Members wishing to avail of this method of paying their annual subscription are reminded that they must contact the office by this Friday (19th) to confirm their wish to use this facility.

Course News
With the improvement in the current weather and rising temperatures, it is hoped that the Grounds Staff will be in a position to hollow core the greens early next week.
This will mean no interruption to golf once we receive the green light to resume play and
we can then expect our greens to be in tip top condition.

Catering.
Barry Joyce continues with his excellent take-away meals this coming week-end.
Meals will be available for guests on Saturday (16.30-19.30hrs) and Sunday (13.00-17.30hrs.)
Barry can be contacted on 086 820 5260 when you can place your order and arrange a collection time.

Members of the Seniors Golf Society can use their Christmas Gift vouchers as payment/ part payment for any meals they order.

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18 Funny Golf Quotes — One Laugh for Every Hole! Something to lighten you day. !!
1. “I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: it’s called an eraser.” — Arnold Palmer, the King of golf and comedy apparently.

2. “It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.” — Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote.

3. “They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.” — Raymond Floyd

4. “I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” — Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the United States and the first to admit a lack of talent on the links.

5. “Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.” — Roy ‘Tin Cup’ McAvoy, the greatest that never was.

6. “If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” — Dean Martin, need we say more?

7. “The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie.” — Mickey Mantle, owner of one of the sweetest swings in baseball, not so much in golf.

8. “Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five.” — Paul Harvey calling every golfer out.

9. “It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.” — Mark Twain, the famous wordsmith who also said golf is a good walk spoiled.

10. “Golf?! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.” — Not sure who said it, but whoever did understands the game, at times, doesn’t make much sense.

11. “If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” — Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course.

12. “The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.” — George Deukmejian waxing prophetic.

13. “I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.” — Muhammed Ali, I mean, who else could say something like this?

14. “Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.” — Bruce Crampton making us think more than we’d like to.

15. “A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole.” — We’ll have whatever Mac O’Grady is smoking.

16. “You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.” — Lee Trevino at his best.

17. “If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron, not even God can hit a 1-iron.” — again, Lee Trevino, who would know a thing or two about lightning strikes considering he was stuck by it on the course.

18. “The most important shot in golf is the next one.” — Ben Hogan making a joke, we think, it was hard to tell with him.

19th Hole Bonus Quote: “While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.” — Henny Youngman in a high-pitched voice.